The Next Chapter

It is with a sad heart that I write this post... Muddear left us yesterday to be with the Lord. While it sounds like a cliche even as I type, I know it is true - Muddear loved the Lord. I am thankful for the years I have had to care for Muddear. It was a shock to realize that I have cared for her for over 10 years. Five years in my home, a year and a half in the nursing home and almost five years while Muddear lived in her apartment after my grandfather died.

Caregiving has many ups and downs. There were times when the responsibility became overwhelming and then there were times when her laughter made it all worthwhile. There were times when I wanted to give up and then I would see the recognition in Muddear's eyes that she knew who I was and where she lived and there was a squeeze in my heart. There were even times when I wanted my life back with the ability to come and go as I pleased. And then I would remember how sick and depressed she had become at the nursing home and knew God had set me on this path for a reason.

For I know in my heart that being with Muddear, moving her into our home, prolonged her life by five years. As a grandparent she had given me many things. I was glad to have been able to give her those five years. That was the only thing she ever asked of me... "that if life would take a turn where she was unable to care for herself, could she live with me." I am glad that I was able to give Muddear that one thing. My life will have an empty spot that was once filled with caring for Muddear. I will miss her feisty personality, her stubbornness, and her joy.

I am thankful to God for His grace and mercy that gave us the strength to care for her. I am thankful for the family members (especially Sheena) and friends that assisted us in times of need. I am thankful for every nurse's assistant (especially Sharon), social worker (especially Bonnie), and nurse that made up our support system. I pray that God blesses you 30, 60, and 100 fold for your kindness and generosity toward us and Muddear.

And now we begin the next chapter in our lives. For five years, our lives have focused on two things: grandma and the kids. Grandma is no longer with us and the kids... well one is heading to college and the other has two years to go. My husband and I joked last night, that we could begin dating again. My heart fluttered!

Words Cannot Express...

I am so looking forward to a peaceful weekend. Last weekend was not peaceful in the least bit. Muddear was extremely disoriented and confused. First, I don't think she slept all weekend. Some say it must have been due to the full moon; however, I need a better explanation than that. Sleep deprivation was only the beginning of my troubles.

For about the last 8 months, Muddear is mysteriously sick every Saturday. Truthfully, I don't believe she is sick - I think she misses Sharon, the aide. It just doesn't make sense that every Saturday, no matter how wonderful she felt the day and night before, Muddear wakes up sick and cannot bear to get out of bed. Not only is she "unable" to get out of bed, Muddear wants to sleep all day long. This means I am constantly waking her up and getting her out of bed in the midst of cooking, cleaning, and doing homework. 

Last Saturday started this way, but unfortunately never ended, because Muddear never went to bed. Of course, at the crack of dawn on Sunday, Muddear wanted attention and began yelling.  Jumping out of bed, I went into her room where immediately I was greeted by a huge wet spot on the floor. Yes, I was weirded out - who knows what the wet spot contained? After doing the "pat and sniff test" I was somewhat convinced it was water and placed a towel on the floor to soak up the mess. Fortunately, straightening up Muddear's room only took a few minutes and getting her back in the bed took even less time. At that point, it was 6:00 a.m. and I was in no shape to wake up for the day. 

Later, Sunday afternoon I began the process of cleaning and dressing Muddear to go to my family cookout. Upon opening the closet door to retrieve an outfit I was greeted by the foul smell of urine. The wet spot I mistakenly assumed to be water had to of contained urine.While we managed to get through the rest of the day with little incident, much to my dismay, Muddear refused to sleep again Sunday night. This time, unlike Saturday night, she was loud and kept us up all night. Between opening and slamming doors in her room to busting down the baby gate we use to keep her in the room, to sneaking out in the hallway and banging on the kids bedroom doors, I may have slept a total of 2 hours. 

Sharon, the aide never takes off on holidays except Christmas, thus I was ecstatic when she arrived on Monday morning - Memorial Day. Mike and I slept a couple more hours and together escaped until it was time for Sharon to leave. That is, not before Sharon advised that when she went into Muddear's room it looked like it had been ransacked! Muddear had pretty much stripped down naked - taken the covers off her bed and crawled onto the futon in her room (a place she NEVER sleeps on). The icing on the cake... Muddear had removed her Depends and urinated into a box of tissues.

I just don't understand.

Grease In My Soup

You never quite know what is going on in the mind of a Dementia/Alzheimer's patient. On Sunday, I made Muddear soup for lunch. Nothing unusual, just a bowl of Campbell's Potato Soup with cheese and Club crackers. Sounds delish, huh?

Immediately after giving Muddear the soup and leaving her room, she begins to call for help. Mike was the first to  respond... wow I love him. After chatting with Muddear a few minutes, about who knows what, Mike begins calling me to Muddear's room. Why? Muddear is refusing to eat her soup. She accused me of putting grease in it! After trying for 10 minutes to reason with her, without much success, I removed the bowl of soup. According to Mike... Muddear thought the potatoes were lumps of grease!

Some things simply cannot be explained! 

Schedule Change and Sunday Outings

It has been a really long time since Muddear and I have had a Sunday outing. It seems like since I enrolled in my MBA program I have been overwhelmed. During the last 7 classes, my typical routine was to save all of my homework for Saturday then sit for 15 hours straight to complete it all. Why? So that on Sunday, I could spend part of the day doing housework and the rest of the day resting. However, during the last few weeks, I have been entirely too tired and simply unable to maintain this schedule.

My new schedule... about 5 to 6 hours on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I don't know if I like spending my entire weekend studying without one day of rest; however, it is more manageable. After my 5 hour study session on Saturday, Mike and I went out to dinner with another couple. I wasn't mentally drained after a 15 hour study session. Then today, Muddear, Mariah and I went grocery shopping at the Super Walmart after I made a quick pit-stop at Michaels for a work project. Again, I wasn't exhausted from a marathon study session. 

While in Walmart, I pushed the grocery cart and Mariah pushed Muddear's wheelchair. Of course, I completed the bulk of our grocery shopping, yet I put Muddear to work making her feel like she was helping. Periodically, I would send Mariah to grab a few grocery items off my list. Muddear would hold on to those items until they caught up with me. Muddear would place her treasures in my shopping cart before going to grab more.

Overall, I think Muddear had a really good day. She easily awoke and allowed me to dress her. She had no bouts with shortness of breath while gone. She even shopped a little - Mariah and I picked out a few sweaters and pants for Muddear.  Amazingly, Walmart has a huge selection of elastic waist pants. Go Walmart! I'll certainly take pictures and post her new outfits soon. I almost forgot, Muddear even picked out a new purse - while complaining because Walmart does not carry leather purses. I feel your pain Muddear - we'll have to rectify the purse situation. I'm sure I can find her a leather purse at the mall.

Several hours later, with a full yet paid for cart of grocery, we grabbed sandwiches from Subway and went home. I even allowed Mariah to back the car out of the garage and pull it back into the garage when we arrived home. WOW! I'm braver than I ever knew - allowing a fairly new 16 year-old to participate in any activity that resembles driving.

That's all for the updates... I'm off to bed!

You-Are-Fired!

You never know what is going on in Muddear's head - today or any other day. But I especially love it when she says something absolutely unexpected. Whether good or bad, positive or negative, it always seems to make me laugh. Which as a caregiver, laughter is an awesome thing!

So, I am sure you can imagine the hilarity of the situation when the aide called told me that Muddear officially fired her today. Apparently Sharon pissed Muddear off - which I might add happens on a daily basis for numerous reasons. Things like: Muddear doesn't want to take a bath or prefers to eat cookies instead of lunch, but Sharon won't let her.  Nevertheless, apparently Mrs. Flossie had had enough! Today she told Sharon... You - Are - Fired!

Flossie has spoken!

Mystery Urine Smell

One Monday morning, Sharon smelled urine in Muddear's room. Apparently it was quite pungent so she immediately cleaned Muddear's bedside commode. However, after 20 minutes, she was surprised that the urine smell remained quite strong. Thus, Sharon retrieved the bathroom cleaner and commenced to clean the outside of the commode. After the passage of time and the strong urine smell remained, Sharon grabbed the bottle of Febreeze from the hall closet and set out the eliminate the smell by spraying the floor around the bedside commode. And still the odor remained.

By mid-afternoon, Sharon had checked the dirty clothes hamper, the sheets on Muddear's bed and even the clothes in the drawers. Yet she still was unable to locate the now horrendous urine smell. Struggling with what to do next, Sharon decided to empty the trash in Muddear's trash can. And then it hit her - not another place to look, but a strong whiff of urine. The night before, Muddear removed the garbage bag from her trash can, urinated into the trash can, then replaced the bag.

The mystery of the hidden urine smell was solved. 

Update

I cannot believe it has been a little over two weeks since my last post. Partially because two weeks ago, I had not one, but two outpatient procedures. I am fine but was out of it on both days. Even though, I was able to return to work fairly quickly, I was simply exhausted the entire week following the procedures. Each night upon returning home from work, I would cook dinner then promptly go to sleep. This caused me to be unable to keep up with schoolwork and I have been playing catch-up ever since.

Muddear on the other hand has had, in my opinion, an adventurous two weeks. I just haven't had time to post all of the bizarre stories.  Ever since her days of "no responsiveness" Muddear has certainly bounced back! Just wait... in the days to come I will be sure to provide an update. 

Until then, goodnight!

Fussin'

I realized recently that my time spent with Muddear in the evenings has become shorter and shorter over the last year. Initially I attributed this to balancing school with the rest of my family.  As you know, I decided to go back to school to get my MBA last December and of course, everybody needs a little bit of my time. However, as I sat in Muddear's room tonight, I had a revelation. Muddear easily becomes agitated and fussy. During these times nothing is right in her sight and she fusses and fusses and fusses until she wears herself out and goes to bed. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I tend to be a very optimistic person and am generally happy all of the time. Therefore, I find it difficult to remain in situations where people are complaining nonstop or fussing all of the time.

The fussing started when I arrived home from work:

1. "What's the deal with all of these changes?" Of course I asked what she was talking about, to wit Muddear responded. "Why is my dinner so late? Why haven't you fed me yet?" I explained that I had just arrived home from work and needed to cook dinner. "Well maybe I should go live in a nursing home. That way I could eat on time."

2. When I served dinner, Muddear began to fuss. "What is this you are serving me? Turn the light on so I can see it!" I turned the light on and explained that we were having spaghetti and garlic bread. "Where is the meat? You don't just feed me anything! I don't want this! Take it back! You don't treat me any which way!" Muddear refused to eat, so I took the food back to the kitchen.

3. Later this evening, I returned to Muddear's room to give her medicine. "I pay my rent, why can't I get a decent meal! You don't feed me like you should. I should be able to get a better meal than what you give!" At first, I tried to reason with Muddear and then gave up. It did not matter what I said, Muddear was simply pissed off. So she fussed about everything! "You don't have the right to keep my change! I pay rent and expect my change back!" Then she fussed about dinner again. "You don't give me scraps! I don't want no spaghetti with no meat!" Muddear then began to fuss about random unrelated topics. "Are these pillowcases white? Did  you buy these? Don't ever buy me colored pillowcases again!" And then... "Why do you live so far out? You live so far, I'll never be able to go to church again!" And then... "Why is it so cold in here?" And then, "Where is my gown from last night? I think somebody put it in the dirty clothes. Don't take my gowns after one day ever again! I sleep in a gown for 5 days. I don't have nobody to was my clothes all the time!"

It is 9:10 p.m. and Muddear has been yelling at me for the past 55 minutes. I am trying so hard to stick it out and sit with her.  I know she doesn't like to be alone, but sheesh! This tongue lashing is going to leave me scarred for life! 

Worst Granddaughter of The Year Award

Okay, I must be the worst granddaughter of the year. I decided to bring my laptop into Muddear's room and sit with her for little bit this evening. Kill two birds with one stone right? Spend time with Muddear, but get a little studying done as well.

Muddear and I began talking which was great. Then out of the blue, Muddear started to sing. Muddear loves to sing and I often hear her singing at random times throughout the day or night. One caveat - Muddear cannot sing which really is not the worst thing in the world as long as I do not have to remain in close proximity. But tonight, as I said previously, Muddear and I were talking. Our conversation lasted no more than 20 minutes. The singing, however, has been going nonstop for the past 30 minutes. Truly, I am ashamed to admit that it is driving me NUTZ! 

A quick outline of why I'm teetering on the edge of sanity. Problem number one - Muddear cannot sing. Problem number two - Muddear has been singing the same song for 35 minutes. Problem number three - Muddear is making up the words to the song. She will sing about 10 words then randomly talk about 15 words then repeat the sequence all over again. Finally, problem number four - Muddear sounds like she is singing an old negro spiritual.

WOW! I am the worst granddaughter in the world!

Forgetting

Sometimes it's easy to forget how good you've got it until it's gone. For months, I have enjoyed the pleasure of a good night sleep. Muddear has slept peacefully and soundly throughout the night for more months than I can remember (during 2008 only). I had begun to forget the previously experienced sleepless nights and groggy days reminiscent of times passed.

Last night I went to bed exhausted as usual, following a full day, and fell asleep immediately. This was around midnight. Around 4:00 a.m., Muddear awoke and began to call...

"Lady! Lady!... Come in here lady."

The "Noooo, say it isn't so" began to register in my brain. Stumbling blindly towards Muddear's room, I discovered her standing in the hallway with her cane - albeit using the wall to hold her up, because she needs a wheelchair. Over the years, Muddear has only managed to walk 5 feet or less with the use of  a walker. After maneuvering Muddear back to her wheelchair, I explained unsuccessfully that it was the middle of the night and time for her to get back in the bed. Of course, I practically ran back to my room to get back in the bed. Not understanding why Muddear had decided it was time for her to go home, now!

Within minutes I was startled awake by Muddear yelling, "Lady!... Lady!" Desperate for sleep, I ignored the call hoping she would get in the bed and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, that did not occur. Sometime after 5:00 a.m., I found myself stumbling blindly back toward Muddear's room when I realized she was banging her cane against the wall to get attention. Once I identified who I was - her granddaughter - Muddear thanked me for taking care of her, hugged me and returned to bed. I thought... is that all it takes? A simple reminder of who I am? Just kidding, I am not that naive.

After dozing off, I was once again started awake by Muddear yelling... "Lady!... Lady!" Again, I waited to see if she would go back to sleep. And then my alarm clock began to ring. How could I have forgotten about these sleepless nights?

The Confusion Has Returned

Over the weekend Muddear was very confused. More so on Sunday. While, I have yet to figure it out, I always wonder about the catalyst to these episodes. It seems like there has to be some trigger.

Nevertheless, Muddear was upset the entire day because "some lady had come over and stolen her clothes". She constantly asked if I knew the lady who stole her clothes. "Why did the lady steal my clothes?" She lamented about how it was such a tragedy that someone had stolen her clothes. Even though I explained over and over and over again that no one had stolen her clothes, Muddear had her mind set. About every 20 to 30 minutes she would wheel over to the closet, stand up and look for her clothes. Oddly, after seeing the closet full of clothing, Muddear would declare... "those aren't my clothes, they belonged to the lady who lived here before me."

In between the closet checks, Muddear would remove the bucket from her bedside commode, kick it down the hall, and attempt to empty it into the toilet. Why? She did not want the clean water to remain inside. To cut down on the odor, we always fill with water. But Muddear did not care. No matter how many times we asked, begged, and told her to stop - Muddear refused.  It became very frustrating. My biggest fear... Muddear spilling the clean and later urine filled water on the floor.

In addition, in between checking the closet and kicking the commode, Muddear decided she needed to leave to go down town. "Why do you need to go downtown", I asked. "I need to take care of my business and find out what happened to all the furniture in my apartment. You know somebody stole it."

This was an all day affair. Monday had to get better.

The Art of Doing Nothing

So, I am reading a new "self help" book. I'm an avid reader who usually shys away from self-help. However, with school, I have completed little to no reading for pleasure only reading for school. The solution... instead of the 300 to 400 page fiction novel I am used to, perhaps I can read a much small book. Less than 100 pages without a continuous storyline, which works well with my frequent reading interruptions.

Back to the beginning... I am reading a new "self help" book titled The Art of Doing Nothing, by Veronique Vienne. Considering, I rarely have time for personal restoration, the book seemed apropos. I have always found reading for pleasure to be therapeutic. Along with shopping and comfort food. I hope to find tips within this little book that I can utilize as well as pass on to others.

Here is an editorial review from Amazon.com:

"Much more than merely a book about nothing, this is a concentrated guide to cultivating a sense of serenity. Simple living expert Sarah Ban Breathnach calls it a "charming prescription for harried hearts and overwrought minds" that's "filled with persuasive reminders that we do too much and live too little." From its bits of well-taken wisdom ("Learn to say, 'I don't know,'"), to tranquil seaside photos, to little lessons on how to meditate, procrastinate, even turn a bath or wine tasting into intensely spiritual experiences, The Art of Doing Nothing is bound to help even the most high-strung, PalmPilot-toting folks remember exactly how it feels to fully relax." --Erica Jorgensen

Here is a call to other caregivers - in what activities do you partake that provide restoration to you? Spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally...

Time Management

Last week, I just started the fifth class in my MBA program (almost 33.3% complete). It is pretty demanding. I find myself coming home from work, cooking dinner which includes eating and chatting with hubby and kids, starting homework to finish the team assignments on time. I strongly dislike team assignments! Once completed, the hubby needs attention, which I gratefully love to give. But... I have not spent anytime with grandma and the night is over.

I cannot spend six weeks (class duration) without allotting quality time to grandma. How do I manage this? Not only will Muddear have forgotten again who I am, I am also afraid that we may experience another repeat of the confusion prior to her fall. Remember? The 3 to 4 week period when Muddear fussed at me almost daily for impersonating the owner of my home and having an affair with my husband.

So, I ask again... How do I manage this better?

Vacation and Respite

It is not common for me to be delinquent in my posting, but I have been on vacation. At least that excuse is better than "the dog ate it".

Anyway... whenever I take Muddear for a respite stay it is probably more traumatic for me than it is for her. I always worry about how being taken to a nursing home, even temporarily, makes her feel.  I hate to admit it, but this time around I wasn't the least bit worried. During the last couple of months I have been under a great deal of stress - family pressures... school... work. None of which include being a caregiver. I was desperate for vacation. 

Thus, on the morning of Friday, June 28 Mike and I hit the road for Mississippi to my sister's wedding. No responsibilities but us - not only did we leave Muddear safely at Brookwood Retirement Community, we left the kids at home as well. Did we go anywhere exotic? Nope - but we had the greatest time together. From the wedding in a scary little Mississippi town, to caving in Chattanooga, to riding rollercoasters at our local amusement park - I never realized how much I missed spending time with my husband.

Obviously, we're back and the vacation is over. I have promised myself to find more opportunities for us to spend one-on-one time together.

Taking Naps

Yesterday, after waking Muddear up for a late breakfast and medication, I allowed Muddear to go back to sleep. I was behind on studying, so I took advantage of the unexpected free time.

I am embarrassed to say that before I knew it, it was 3:45 p.m. and Muddear was still in bed. Muddear must have thought the same thing, because she began calling me about lunch. I am such a slacker! Nevertheless, I rustled Muddear up to get dressed for the day and prepared lunch. Things were going fine - that is until about 6:00 p.m. when Muddear decided that she needed to lay down and take a nap.

You may not think that taking a nap is a big deal - that is unless you have been awakened three nights in a row by a hysterical 96 year old woman whose days and nights are confused. There was no way in the world that I was going to allow Muddear to go to take a nap at 6:00 p.m. and run the risk of her not sleeping during the night. (AGAIN!) Yes, the story goes downhill from here.

My initial attempts at cajoling Muddear into staying awake and out of the bed did not work. Having no recollection that she had only been awake for 2 hours, Muddear was determined to get back in the bed. So to Muddear's chagrin, I sat in the bed with her. There was no way I would make this easy. Obviously she was pissed! This continued for about 10 minutes with no success for either of us. We were at an impasse. That is until I decided that enough is enough! I graciously hoisted Muddear up, placing her back in the wheelchair. She initially fussed and argued and pushed, but things quieted down once she was sitting in her chair.

It was smooth sailing from that moment on. Muddear and I talked and watched television for the next couple of hours. Go figure.

Asking Permission

Muddear thinks I was just fussing at her. I wasn't but I didn't think it was fair to allow her to fuss at Little Mike for no reason.

While I was sitting in the kitchen, I heard Muddear yelling at Mike to open his bedroom door. After hearing her yell at him for a couple of minutes, I decided to go upstairs to investigate the problem. I found an indignant Muddear sitting in the hallway, again yelling at Little Mike to open his bedroom door.

"What's wrong Muddear?"
"Tell him he needs to open his door!"
"Why? He's changing clothes."
"He should have told me that he was changing clothes. I don't know what he's up to in there."
"Muddear, Little Mike lives here. That is his room. He does not have to ask to shut his bedroom door."
"Yes, he does. I don't know - he might have girls in there."
"Muddear, Mike is a kid. He is not allowed to have girls in the house or in his room."
"I don't know what's on his mind. He should have told me and you need to stop jumping down my back about it."
"Muddear, I am not fussing at you. But you need to leave Little Mike alone so he can finish changing his clothes. He just got out of the shower."

There was no convincing Muddear, so I made an excuse to go back downstairs. Hence, the right now blogging of this incident.

WOW! Little Mike just left to go to a friends and Muddear is still yelling at him. Imagine that...

Calm...Finally

Thankfully, this week has been pretty uneventful. Muddear still does not know who I am. Nor does she know where she lives, but she has been calm nevertheless.

I can appreciate these periods of peace. No midnight marauding. No hysterical outbursts. No re-decorating or re-arranging her bedroom. No getting out her wheelchair and sitting on the floor. No incessant arguing.

All this week, I was able to come home and just relax. I fixed and served dinner. Cleaned the kitchen. Then sat down and twice fell asleep for about two hours each time. Honestly, I don't know what to do with myself other than enjoy the moment.

What a blessing!

Quality Time

Last night Mike and I were able to get out of the house again to spend time together. Yayyyyy!!! Honestly, we do not do this enough, but have tried to commit to enjoying quality husband and wife time together once a week. You know - out of the house, no kids, no grandma - just us.

It is amazing how easy it is to take quality time for granted. Yes, I know I say this all the time, but I cannot resist repeating myself. Being a full time caregiver requires a huge sacrifice of time. One of the things I miss the most is the time spent with my husband.

Last night was reminiscent of our pre-caregiver days. We had dinner with another couple and then went out dancing. The only difference...I was more in shape then. After dancing to a few fast songs I found myself out of breath with burning thighs! This once aerobic instructor and dancer has fallen apart! Next week, I start a new exercise regiment. At some point between work, school, and family - this girl will be hitting the treadmill.

Realization hit me...not only do I not spend enough quality time with my husband, I don't spend enough time taking care of me! Perhaps it is time to rethink about my priorities...

Help...She's Confused!

Last Friday will go down in history as the most trying day with Muddear. First things first...she was up for 24 hours straight!

No matter what Mike or I said, we could not convince Muddear that she was at home. She waited...and waited... and waited... and waited for me to take her home. As the night wore on and our patience wore thin, Muddear called me continuously into her room questioning her whereabouts. Not only was Muddear confused she was aggravated beyond belief. It was obvious Muddear thought we were lying - the truth only existed within her mind, therefore Muddear rejected anything we said that did not agree with that truth.

All night long, Muddear turned the hall and bathroom lights off and on. She opened and closed doors - her bedroom door, Mariah's bedroom door, the hall closet door even little Mike's. Numerous times she wheeled herself into my bedroom. About 2:00 a.m. I found Muddear in the hallway pushing her own wheelchair! Terrified that she would fall, I ran to Muddear's rescue only to realize that she at least had the wherewithall to put on the brakes. Thank goodness!


By 4:00 a.m. I was exhausted and nearing insanity when Muddear rolled into my bedroom again. "Mike? Mike? Are you in here? Nikki? Where are you?" Mike whispered to me, "shh... don't answer. Maybe she'll think we are sleep and go back into her room." Eventually Muddear stopped calling us and gratefully, I fell asleep. Shortly after, I heard the horrific sound...


Muddear was urinating on my bedroom floor! At 6:00 a.m. I was on my hands and knees cleaning the carpet. Help!

Amazing Feats

I am behind in my posting, but that does not mean that we have not had any great adventures! Last week, on Wednesday the 13th, I was in my bedroom putting away laundry.

Muddear came into my room to chat while I was doing so. Once finished I told Muddear that I was going downstairs to take care of some things, you know...completing dinner and then schoolwork and that she was more than welcome to join me. To wit, she was more than agreeable.

While in the kitchen, I finished dinner, Muddear ate her fill, and I began my schoolwork. All of this occurred within 35 minutes. Muddear decided that she had been downstairs long enough and wanted to return to her room. I was "smack dab" (as my grandfather would say) in the middle of writing my paper when Muddear made this decision. Unfortunately, Muddear did not care and refused to wait until I could come to a stopping point.

In her usual fashion, Muddear began fussing about how it was wrong of me to treat her this way and that I ought to be ashamed of myself...yada, yada, yada... It was at that point, where Muddear decided that she would go upstairs by herself, because she did not need my assistance.

"Tell Mike to come here and get my wheelchair, so I can sit down when I get to the top."
"Muddear, I will tell Little Mike to get your chair once you get to the top.” Knowing that Muddear is unable to climb the stairs without assistance.
"No, I want him to do it now, he might be sleep."
"Muddear, don't worry, when you get to the top, I'll bring your chair myself if I need to."

Mike and I are sitting in the kitchen chatting when notice that Muddear has wheeled herself to the bottom of the stairs and is no longer in her wheelchair. Quietly, I tiptoe over to the stairs and you would not believe what I saw...Muddear was on the third step! Unbelievable! I watched in amazement (while standing behind her) as Muddear walked up the stairs. Now...she goes up and down the stairs with a significant amount of assistance from us. Usually, my husband Mike carries her. Therefore, I am sure you can understand my shock.

Needless to say, Muddear's only quandary occurred when she arrived at the top of the stairs. She could not take the top step, because the banister stopped. At that point, I told Muddear, "Sometimes you have to be patient. If you do this again, we are not going to help - you cannot force us to stop what we are doing because you are being impatient. That is not fair - it had only been 45 minutes." (Now of course I would help, but I had to get my point across.)

Muddear simply replied..."Don't worry - I ain't doin this again! There won't be a next time!