Tips For Caregiver's

People with Alzheimer's disease frequently become more disoriented after dark or when waking. Leaving a night-light on in the bedroom may be helpful.

~WebMd

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Truth

When dealing with Alzheimer's and Dementia patients, when does one tell the truth?

Today, since I arrived home from work, Muddear has asked me on numerous occasions... "Where is my baby?" I tried to rationalize with her, but of course it didn't work. I would ask, "Muddear, how old are you?"

"That doesn't matter. Where is my baby?"
"But, it does matter. You are 97 years old, there is no way that you have babies. They are all grown."
"No they are not. Where are my babies?"

A little later, I tried again to rationalize with Muddear as she asked...

"Did somebody take my babies?"
"Of course not Muddear, your babies are adults now."
"No they are not."
"Muddear, tell me something, when did you start having babies?"
"Oh when I was about 79."
"Now Muddear, you know you didn't have babies at 79. That's too old - not just for you, but no one has babies at 79."

It is almost 10:00 p.m. and this issue is still not resolved. She keeps asking us... "Where is my baby?" Should we play along with her? I fear that this would create even more problems.

What do you think?

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Words Cannot Express...

I am so looking forward to a peaceful weekend. Last weekend was not peaceful in the least bit. Muddear was extremely disoriented and confused. First, I don't think she slept all weekend. Some say it must have been due to the full moon; however, I need a better explanation than that. Sleep deprivation was only the beginning of my troubles.

For about the last 8 months, Muddear is mysteriously sick every Saturday. Truthfully, I don't believe she is sick - I think she misses Sharon, the aide. It just doesn't make sense that every Saturday, no matter how wonderful she felt the day and night before, Muddear wakes up sick and cannot bear to get out of bed. Not only is she "unable" to get out of bed, Muddear wants to sleep all day long. This means I am constantly waking her up and getting her out of bed in the midst of cooking, cleaning, and doing homework. 

Last Saturday started this way, but unfortunately never ended, because Muddear never went to bed. Of course, at the crack of dawn on Sunday, Muddear wanted attention and began yelling.  Jumping out of bed, I went into her room where immediately I was greeted by a huge wet spot on the floor. Yes, I was weirded out - who knows what the wet spot contained? After doing the "pat and sniff test" I was somewhat convinced it was water and placed a towel on the floor to soak up the mess. Fortunately, straightening up Muddear's room only took a few minutes and getting her back in the bed took even less time. At that point, it was 6:00 a.m. and I was in no shape to wake up for the day. 

Later, Sunday afternoon I began the process of cleaning and dressing Muddear to go to my family cookout. Upon opening the closet door to retrieve an outfit I was greeted by the foul smell of urine. The wet spot I mistakenly assumed to be water had to of contained urine.While we managed to get through the rest of the day with little incident, much to my dismay, Muddear refused to sleep again Sunday night. This time, unlike Saturday night, she was loud and kept us up all night. Between opening and slamming doors in her room to busting down the baby gate we use to keep her in the room, to sneaking out in the hallway and banging on the kids bedroom doors, I may have slept a total of 2 hours. 

Sharon, the aide never takes off on holidays except Christmas, thus I was ecstatic when she arrived on Monday morning - Memorial Day. Mike and I slept a couple more hours and together escaped until it was time for Sharon to leave. That is, not before Sharon advised that when she went into Muddear's room it looked like it had been ransacked! Muddear had pretty much stripped down naked - taken the covers off her bed and crawled onto the futon in her room (a place she NEVER sleeps on). The icing on the cake... Muddear had removed her Depends and urinated into a box of tissues.

I just don't understand.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Back Again

Obviously I am back from Vegas and The World Tea Expo. This post is just a little late... sorry for the delay.  I personally had a fantastic time at the Expo. My dear husband on the other hand, I fear did not enjoy himself quite as much. However, I appreciate the fact that he went purely for me.

While away, I was thankful that I did not receive any phone calls from Brookwood regarding Muddear. There have been other occasions when taken to respite that Muddear is not enthusiastic about having to stay and becomes difficult. This was not one of those times. However, when I arrived to pick Muddear up, I became concerned.

First, I noticed that Muddear was wearing the same thing I dropped her off in - quite disconcerting. When I checked her clothes, I noticed that four (4) of the five outfits I brought for her were folded exactly the same way as when I unpacked them. I was livid! How is it that Muddear had not been changed for several days? When I questioned the staff, they lied and said that they knew for a fact that she had been changed. Her clothes were folded because they had been laundered. Of course, I said... "That is is not true - how would your laundry department know to fold her clothes exactly the way I had folded them when I left? Impossible!" So I asked to speak to the aide who dressed her for the day - Tuesday. She had not worked with Muddear over the weekend, therefore she could only speak for that day. When asked why Muddear was dressed in dirty clothes, the aide explained... "When I asked Ms. Flossie what she wanted to wear, she said she wanted to wear the outfit she now has on."

"Did you know that she has Dementia and would not have known that you were asking her to put on dirty clothes?"

"No, I didn't know that."

Of course, I asked to speak to the unit nurse. Once in the room, she too initially fed me a lie - however, I quickly discovered that she was simply repeating the lie that had been told to her. When I again explained the problem AS WELL AS the soiled nightgowns and underwear I found on the closet floor she changed her tune and advised that she would investigate the matter. She immediately agreed, especially when I reiterated my understanding of their policy, that dirty clothes are to be separated from clean clothes. Especially when soiled as they represent an infectious disease hazard. While we (Mike and I) finished packing Muddear's belongings the Unit Nurse returned to say that Muddear had not been dressed because she wanted to stay in her nightgowns. (Okay no problem.) Unfortunately, that did not explain the soiled gowns and underwear lying on the closet floor or the fact that she was dressed in dirty clothes - to wit I was told the aides would be reprimanded via a formal write-up of their performance. Although, I find it sad that the aide's are always the one's to receive the only reprimand. What about the nurses that enter the room to give meds and check vitals? Did they not notice the nasty clothes on the floor?

Nevertheless, I received a letter of apology - also advising that Muddear had not been bathed properly either. But I'm still pissed. While this is truly the first bad experience I've had with Brookwood it still does not negate the fact that Muddear should have had better care.

Things that make you go hmmmm...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Respite, Vegas, and the World Tea Expo

I should be packing, instead I am creating a quick blog post. This weekend, I am attending the World Tea Expo in Las Vegas. Yeah, I'm sure I sound like a nerd, I really can't help it. I love tea and simply couldn't pass up the Expo.  It's amazing the things you can develop an interest in when your time outside of the house is limited. If you are interested in more details you can follow my adventures on Tea Escapade.
 
Needless to say, a trip out of town means a respite stay for Muddear. In some respects, respite stays are so much easier than before although I still have that twinge of guilt every time I leave Muddear. Thank goodness Brookwood Retirement Community makes the transition easy. They know us now so scheduling, drop off and pick up are a breeze.

Muddear was so funny. When I arrived home from work, I reminded her that we would be leaving soon. After packing and loading Muddear into the car, we start to talk... 

"Now where are you going?"
"Las Vegas."
"Sho'nuff?"
"Yep! I am really looking forward to the trip. I have never been to Vega before."

Upon arrival at Brookwood, I wait for Muddear to finish eating dinner - we stopped at Wendy's on the way. I kissed her on the head and told her I was leaving. 

"Well, why are you leaving me here?"
"Remember, Mike and I are going out of town."
"I know, but I thought I was going too."
"Not this time, but don't worry - we won't be gone long."
"I'll be praying for you... take my prayers with you."
"I will and I'll be praying for you too."

That's the first time Muddear ever questioned whether she was traveling with us or not. I wasn't sure if she was serious or joking. Who really knows?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Finally... Rest

The last few nights have been fabulous! No late night rendezvous with Muddear. No severe confusion, just back to the normal degree of confusion. Simply peaceful sleep, night after night. Oh how sweet it is to experience a good night's sleep. It is truly amazing the things we consider luxuries as caregivers as well as the levels of insanity we consider normal. I appreciate it all - being a caregiver has made me a better person. 

Okay... rambling complete!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Long Nights

The past few nights, Muddear hasn't been sleeping well, which means we haven't been sleeping well. Last night, Muddear used her wheelchair to barricade her bedroom door multiple times. Each time I tried to enter her bedroom, I could barely open the door because she was sitting in the wheelchair behind the door. Either Mike or I would move her chair, but nothing would stop Muddear, even Mike physically lifting Muddear out of the wheelchair and into the bed.

Sometime around 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. this morning, I awoke to Muddear yelling. Once again, I was barely able to enter the bedroom, because this time, Muddear's wheelchair was behind the door while Muddear sat yelling from her shower chair across the room. Her room was in somewhat disarray so I took a few minutes to do an assessment. That was when I noticed Muddear's trash can contained liquid instead of the normal garbage bag. You guessed correctly, grandma urinated in the trash can. All I could ask is why?

Muddear explained that she could not see the the commode. Although, I struggle with that train of thought... how could she NOT see the rather large bedside commode but could see the little trash can? After some additional questioning as well as observation, I discovered that Muddear had also urinated partially on the floor. There I was - somewhere between 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. cleaning Muddear's room and fussing. I was really bothered by her behavior. Finally, Mike came to Muddear's room - I think first to provide morale support and second to tell me to come back to bed, because he said...

"Nikki, you sound like you are arguing with a little kid. Put a depend on her and come back to bed."

This morning after thinking more about the situation, I plan to purchase Muddear a nightlight for her bedroom, even though she has a lamp on her nightstand beside the bed. Additionally, I thought more about her medicine schedule - it was off yesterday, which may have contributed to her confusion. Whatever the cause, I pray for a good night's sleep tonight.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Confused

Poor Muddear has been experiencing increased confusion again. Not as bad as when she was admitted into Mercy Hospital, but definite confusion.  Immediately after arriving home from work this evening, I was chatting with my family before changing clothes and finishing the dinner Mariah started. Nothing unusual right? That is until Little Mike went upstairs to his bedroom and immediately ran back downstairs.

"You are not going to believe this!"
"What?", we said in unison.
"Muddear is in your room sitting in the laundry basket!"
"What!"

Of course we all ran upstairs to see for ourselves and sure enough there was Muddear, in my bedroom, sitting in the laundry basket full of clothes. When I asked her what she was doing, Muddear, politely said she was looking for the stove parts she purchased earlier today.

Funny!