Walter Update

Over the last week, Walter has continued to improve. Unfortunately, I am experiencing problems with my car and thus have not been able to visit. On Thursday, I spoke with his nurse at St. Elizabeth Medical Center and was pleasantly surprised to hear that my dad was alert, even smiling. The nurse placed the phone up to my dad's ear and let me talk to him. Because of the tracheotomy, he could not respond verbally, however, the nurse said that he was moving his lips in an attempt to communicate with me. God is amazing!

The hospital is going to discharge Walter either this week or next week to a rehabilitation center. Apparently there are only 3 places in this area that provide an on site respiratory specialist. Lucky for us, one of the places is located in my neighborhood. Even better, on Friday I found out that he would be accepted into the facility! Another blessing! This week I will take a tour.

I am simply amazed by where we are today when I think back to the prognosis I received from the doctors just 3 weeks ago. I am thankful for everyone's prayers - I was given more time.

Another Surgical Procedure

My dad had three minor surgical procedures on Wednesday. He received a tracheotomy so the ventilation tubes could be removed from his throat and lungs and connected to the trachea. A feeding tube was inserted to provide better nutrition. And the location of the tube that facilitates dialysis was moved to a different location.

I am excited to report that he is showing signs of improvement. After speaking with both the doctor and nurses responsible for his care at St. Elizabeth Medical Center, Walter has been following simple commands. There is now hope for recovery, although it may take months. Prayer and faith works.

We plan to take Muddear over to see him this weekend.

Forgiveness

Sunday, we visited Walter who remains in critical condition at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center. I went for several reasons. Of course, to allow Muddear to visit and to visit myself, however, I had a second, serious and personal reason.

Walter and I have been estranged for over 30 years. He and my mother divorced when I was about 3 or 4 years old. He did then and still today suffers from alcoholism.

When my mother remarried, I was either 5 or 6 and my stepfather later adopted me. He is the only father I ever knew. I loved him dearly. However, I remained very angry and bitter towards Walter. In my eyes, he was the dad that treated my mother poorly and later abandoned me.

About 15 years ago, I committed my life to Christ and knew that I needed to forgive Walter, which at the time, I did. Yet, we were strangers. It was not until I began caring for Muddear that Walter and I began to interact - that was about 7 years ago. Even then, our relationship was strained and difficult.

Last weekend, I came to the realization that I stilled harbored some deep-seated unforgiveness within my heart. Therefore, on Sunday, I knew what needed to be done. It was time to formally forgive Walter and to apologize for harboring the unforgiveness. I am thankful for God's grace and mercy, for today I truly walk in peace.

Today, I am free.

More Time...

I just spent the last 40 minutes on the phone with the hospital getting an update. When I was there on Saturday, the news wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. I am sure you can imagine how stunned I was to receive the most recent prognosis. Honestly, I think I am getting a headache simply trying to process the amount of medical information I just received. To summarize...

1. They believe my dad had a stroke yesterday. This is bad enough as it is, however, according to the CAT Scan it looks like he previously had a stroke in the same place in the brain some time ago.
2. His kidney's have not resumed functioning and they don't believe they ever will.
3. While he is breathing on his own, he is not able to without assistance. The tubes from the ventilator need to be removed before causing additional damage leaving me with two options: a. remove the ventilator and insert a tracheotomy and feeding tube or b. remove the ventilator and allow nature to take its course
4. His liver is damaged (prior to hospitalization) which is making matters worse.
5. Overall he is in a fragile condition and they don't believe there is much else they can do for him that would restore his quality of life. Not to mention any measures they take now, may actually make matters worse.

Please continue to pray. I am taking Muddear over to see him tonight. I plan to have a follow-up conversation with the doctor as well.

I wish I had more time...

Walter Update

By the way, yesterday I called the hospital and am thankful that I continue to receive good news. The Renal Specialist wants to remove Walter from continuous dialysis and transition him to three days per week. (Really good thing.) In addition, the Respiratory Specialist, wants to transition Walter to a less "demanding" type of ventilation system. (Really, really good thing.) I don't know the true medical term, but my understanding is that the new ventilator will require my dad to use his lungs more and depend less on the machine. They hope to achieve this transition by the weekend. The biggest benefit for the transition is the new ventilator causes significantly less pain and will require less sedation.

The only concern is that the doctors, over the last few days, have been attempting to wean him from the sedation without huge successes. Part of this is due to all of the medical contraptions he is hooked up to and the other part is unknown. The most significant problem is that my dad is not as responsive as they believe he should be. We will know better this weekend, once all of the transitions have taken place.

I plan to take Muddear to see her "baby" within the next few days. Hopefully, he will be able to talk to her. I never expected this level of responsibility when I became my grandmother's caregiver. However, in the span of a few weeks, I find myself caring for Muddear, Phil, and Walter. I am thankful to God for the strength and courage.

Slowly But Surely

After speaking to my father's nurse today, I received some optimistic news. While the doctors continue to sedate him, maintain continuous dialysis, and use of the ventilator, there seems to be an improvement in all of Walter's lab/blood work. In addition, the report from the Infectious Disease Specialist came back negative AND the infection in his face is clearing up nicely.

I continue to believe that God is a healer - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I thank all of you for your continued prayers.

No Changes...

We are back from St. Elizabeth Medical Center. There have been no changes in Walter's condition. I'm being optimistic. No change at least confirms that he has not gotten any worse.

The doctors are continuing the dialysis treatment as well as the use of the ventilator. Apparently an infectious disease specialists have been called in to rule out any other "weird" things going on in his body.

This visit seemed to be harder on Muddear today than the last. I heard her say to Walter, "I asked God to take care of you. If He didn't, then I'm not going to make it." I continue to encourage her to believe God for Walter's healing.

Muddear was not up to staying as long this time, even though we were there for hours. (We had to wait almost an hour before we could see Walter. The nurse was just about to start his bed bath when we arrived.)

I continue to believe that God can work miracles...

Back To The Hosptial

Muddear and I have been bumbling around for the past hour and a half doing a little of everything and a bunch of nothing. We have finished the morning breakfast and medication routine, albeit a little late.

I will never understand how Muddear makes a production out of taking her breathing treatment. On average, a breathing treatment should take 12 minutes. This morning, Muddear began her breathing treatment at 10:24 a.m. and did not finish until 11:05 a.m. That's 41 minutes!

Of course you are probably wondering, "how is that possible?" I can only describe...

What is supposed to happen is: Muddear should hold the mouthpiece in her mouth and breath deeply to inhale the medication into her lungs. End of story.

Instead, what actually happens is (I'll share this morning's experience.): Muddear started taking the treatment while sitting in her wheelchair. She decided she was cold and got in the bed, thus knocking over the nebulizer (machine that facilitates the treatment). Her nose started running and she couldn't find the Kleenex that were sitting right next to the bed. She finds the Kleenex, blows her nose, and then cannot locate the oxygen cannula she removed from her nose to blow it. Okay we are all settled again. I come back to check, Muddear has now gotten out of the bed and back into her wheelchair. She needs to blow her nose and cannot find the toilet tissue. Now repeat the entire nose blowing action above. This goes on several more times which equals...41 minutes.

Well, now it's time for wash-up and dressing. There has been no change in Walter's condition and we are headed back to St. Elizabeth Medical Center.

I'll keep you posted.

Visiting Walter

I took Muddear to visit Walter last night at St. Elizabeth Hospital. It was very difficult for her to see him lying in the hospital bed, extremely ill, and unable to speak.

On several occasions Muddear managed to wheel her chair next to the bed, stand up, and kiss Walter. It was heartbreaking. Throughout the visit she would try to wake him up, because she kept forgetting that he was sedated and not allowed to wake. This was most difficult for me...Muddear seemed to forget what the hospital staff explained about Walter's current condition. About every 10 minutes or so, she would ask... "Now tell me, what's his condition?" The follow up question would always be, "Do you think he is going to pull out of this?" Then she would tell them how God was going to bless them for taking care of her baby. This line of questioning continued for about 3 hours and Muddear became increasingly sad after each answer.

About midway through our visit, Muddear decided she wanted to leave Walter a letter. Muddear dictated while I took notes. Then made sure the nurse placed the letter in Walter's chart when we left. Muddear wanted to make sure that when he awoke, he knew that she had been there.

I am glad I took Muddear to see dad. Life is so uncertain, but I continue to believe God for the best.

Another Call

This morning, I received another phone call from St. Elizabeth hospital. Dialysis proved to be quite difficult for Walter. Current plan of action:

1. Blood transfusion - to increase hemoglobin in the blood; and
2. Monitor dialysis for any additional complications after transfusion.

The form of dialysis Walter is presently undergoing is the least traumatic. If this doesn't work, the doctors are running out of treatment options.

I really like the doctors at St. Elizabeth. They have been very informative, yet caring and compassionate of the situation.

Around Noon, I called Muddear to let her know what was going on with Walter and asked if she wanted me to take her to the hospital. So, this evening, Muddear and I will head over to the hospital so she can spend some time with him. Muddear is really worried, I can hear the fear in her voice.

Please continue to pray.

Time To Tell...

Last night I went to the hospital to visit with my dad. He is not doing well. He is now using a ventilator to assist his breathing to reduce the stress of lung functionality. The doctors believed this to be a temporary situation until he regained strength from the surgery. I was very optimistic until today...

This morning, I spent a great deal of time on the phone with the doctors and nurses at St. Elizabeth. Walter has taken yet another turn for the worse. According to the respiratory specialist, his lungs have aspirated (filled with vomit they believe and additional fluid) and are failing. I later talked with the Renal Specialist and Walter's kidneys have begun to fail. Considering I and Muddear are the only two next of kin listed, I had to consent to two emergency procedures today - catheter insertion and the initiation of dialysis. The doctors hope both will be temporary.

This is a critical situation. Apparently Walter's blood is now highly toxic because the lungs are failing and cannot push oxygen into the blood stream and his kidneys are failing thereby prohibiting elimination of toxins via urination. If not controlled Walter's heart could fail.

I am fearful of Walter dying without Muddear ever knowing that he was sick. Please keep my family in your prayers...

When To Tell...

I talked to one of the nurses at St. Elizabeth Hospital where my father, Walter, is being treated. He experienced some complications today - fortunately his nurse says they have things under control. After the surgery a tube was placed in Walter's stomach, via the nasal passages, to continuously drain his stomach. Today, the doctor felt it necessary to remove the tube in order to eliminate some of the pain Walter was in and to help lower his blood pressure. Apparently, Walter's blood pressure had risen as a result of the stress from being in constant pain. As of this evening, he had improved tremendously.

Walter has been hospitalized since the 17th of November. Initially I wanted to wait to tell Muddear until he was close to coming home. I feared increasing her anxiety and causing Muddear to become unnecessarily afraid.

However, I now question my decision. How long is too long and what if something happens to Walter? Am I wrong for waiting to tell Muddear?