Scarry Happenings

Muddear has been exhibiting increased confusion during the last few days. It's odd, because not only has she been confused, her countenance is not right - from facial expression to posture, etc. Even Muddear's sleeping habits are all wrong - from increased sleeping during the day to increased sleeplessness throughout the night. Typically, Muddear is not a "napper" regardless of the amount of sleep (or lack thereof) she received the night before.

This "odd" behavior culminated on Thursday evening when I was commuting home from work while Mike and the kids were at home. Initially, Muddear was yelling and throwing things down the stairs. Very strange - this has never happened before. Mike tried talking to Muddear, with he hope of calming her down, to no avail. Then the scare of our lives... Muddear came tumbling down the stairs! I was about 5 minutes away from home - Mike did his best to make sure there were no obvious broken bones. Upon arrival, we took Muddear to Emergency.

By the grace of God, Muddear's only injury was a sprained ankle. X-rays, CAT Scans, blood work, urine analysis, and more were conducted. The only explanation - Dementia, although the doctor was concerned about potential dehydration. The hospital placed a splint on Muddear's right leg and we brought her home the same night.

Since Thursday, I continue to be concerned about Muddear's behavior and we are keeping a close eye on her. She has been extremely lethargic and disinterested in food. I will keep you posted. Please keep us in your prayers.

Another Surgical Procedure

My dad had three minor surgical procedures on Wednesday. He received a tracheotomy so the ventilation tubes could be removed from his throat and lungs and connected to the trachea. A feeding tube was inserted to provide better nutrition. And the location of the tube that facilitates dialysis was moved to a different location.

I am excited to report that he is showing signs of improvement. After speaking with both the doctor and nurses responsible for his care at St. Elizabeth Medical Center, Walter has been following simple commands. There is now hope for recovery, although it may take months. Prayer and faith works.

We plan to take Muddear over to see him this weekend.

Painful Conversations

I am a stepmother of two and sacrifice regularly as any parent should for the well being of my stepchildren. I am not looking for a pat on the back, just stating the reality of the situation. No, I am not their birth mother, however, I love them and cannot imagine my life without them. In addition, I deeply desire to give birth to children as well. At 35, I realize life has altered the timing of this event, yet I stand firm in my faith. I explained all of this to set the stage for this post.

A couple of weeks ago, Muddear and I had a conversation that really disturbed me. It was not the first time. At least once a month Muddear likes to remind me that I don't have children or she likes to play down the level of responsibility I have as stepmother. In my heart, I know she does not mean any harm, but it is still painful for me. If I am honest with myself, I know the problem is mine. Yet, just once I wish that I could tell Muddear how her words really make me feel. But how do you reason with someone with Dementia? You don't.

And so the conversation goes:

"Hey Muddear!"
"Hi baby! Are you just getting home from work?"
"Yes, I am. It has been a long day and I am glad to be home."
"Are you tired?"
"Today I am. I just wanted to say hi! I'll be back, I have to change clothes."
"That's too bad, but it wouldn't be a days work if you didn't work hard and come home tired. Do you have to cook dinner?"
"Yep, I'll rustle up some dinner after I change clothes."
"You seem just like me. Go to work during the day and come home to cook dinner. At least you don't have kids."
"I have Mike and Mariah."
"Maybe so, but they ain't your kids. You didn't have them so you don't live with them or worry about them."
"Muddear, the kids are here practically everyday and yes, I do worry about them."
"That may be so, but you don't worry like a real mother who had them and think about them all the time. Like I did my own kids. You know what I mean."