Thoughts of Times Past

I remember talking with my mom recently about what Muddear was like when she was younger. Considering that I am 35 and Muddear is 95, I have always viewed her as old. But on this particular day, I wanted to reminisce about times past. I wanted to reflect on the young Flossie.

My mother said that Muddear was a very strong willed woman. She ran her home and her husband with an iron fist. When my mother was young and dating my biological father, everyone was afraid to cross Muddear. When Flossie said it was time to eat, it was time to eat. And when Flossie said it was time to go to bed, you better get your butt in bed - no questions asked! Your age did not matter - adult or child.

After talking, I realized just how much I admire Muddear. She was a wife and mother who worked during the day and functioned as the backbone of her family. She not only survived, but thrived during the rise and fall of many presidents and political regimes, two world wars, segregation, and racial discrimination. She even raised and buried two of her children. And then I thought, how difficult it must be to accept the physical and mental decline that has so significantly changed her life. Muddear was fiercely independent and is now 100% dependent. She was sharp witted and humorous and now struggles with simple activities. My heart began to break.

In my mind's eye, I can see her as she was. With her fancy suits and big church hats. I hear her infectious laughter that never failed to make me laugh, not at her, but with her. I see Flossie, the woman, whom we affectionately call Muddear. I see how much I love her.