Tips For Caregiver's

People with Alzheimer's disease frequently become more disoriented after dark or when waking. Leaving a night-light on in the bedroom may be helpful.


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Time of the Month

It's that time of the month again...and I don't mean PMS. Every month, Muddear asks about the whereabouts of her social security check and every month I explain that it is direct deposited into the bank. Because of Dementia, Muddear is unable to distinguish one day from the next so this question may come at any time. In addition, this conversation always pisses Muddear off.

While the check arrives on or about the 3rd of every month, Muddear has chosen tonight to ask. As is my normal routine, I said..."Your check is deposited into the bank." To my chagrin, Muddear has been fussing at me for about an hour now - she is pissed that I had her social security check direct deposited without consulting her. Throughout this time, I nod and shake my head without saying much and apologizing at frequent intervals, but nothing can stop this tirade.

I reminded Muddear that each month I use the check to pay her financial obligations, but she doesn't think she has any bills, because I pay them. I am stuck in the midst of a catch 22. As we surpass the hour mark, I struggle with how to handle this situation. Walking out of the room, in my opinion, sends the message that I don't care about what she has to say or how she feels. Staying in the room forces me to endure the tirade. The list of insults include...

"I take advantage of old people."
"It is a shame how I have taken her money."
"How dare I take her money when she doesn't have any clothes or a winter coat."

The list goes on and on...and I sit here blogging hoping that eventually the fussing will stop or Muddear will wear herself out.

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