Death, Acceptance, and Halls

Recently I read one of my favorite blogs...One Caregivers Journey. The Caregiver describes how her mother, an Alzheimer's patient, believes Vioxx killed her husband - see post "A Victim of...Vioxx?" dated 5/16/07 on her Blog. The story brought back memories of Muddear when Grandpa James died. Immediately preceding Grandpa James' death, he became very ill. Muddear said that he was practically inhaling Halls to provide some relief. And then he died. According to his family doctor, Grandpa James died from pneumonia.

However, year after year, whenever asked about Grandpa James, Muddear would say he died from eating too many Halls - not pneumonia. She would go on and on about how she should have stopped him from eating all of those Halls, because if she had he would still be alive. I wanted to explain to Muddear that I was sure eating Halls did not kill Grandpa James. I wanted to reason with her that the combination of old age and pneumonia were the true culprits, but Muddear was having none of that.

I know it was difficult for Muddear to accept Grandpa James' death - they were married for over 40 years! (She does not remember exactly how long, therefore, considering her age, I am forced to estimate.) It is impossible to fathom what it would be like to lose your spouse of 40+ years as well as being an empty-nester. The initial loneliness during that time was probably engulfing, yet Muddear survived. I can only hope to attain this level of strength and endurance.

It has been over 12 years since the death of Grandpa James. I wonder if Muddear has finally accepted the truth about his death. If asked today, I wonder what she would say.