Asking Permission

Muddear thinks I was just fussing at her. I wasn't but I didn't think it was fair to allow her to fuss at Little Mike for no reason.

While I was sitting in the kitchen, I heard Muddear yelling at Mike to open his bedroom door. After hearing her yell at him for a couple of minutes, I decided to go upstairs to investigate the problem. I found an indignant Muddear sitting in the hallway, again yelling at Little Mike to open his bedroom door.

"What's wrong Muddear?"
"Tell him he needs to open his door!"
"Why? He's changing clothes."
"He should have told me that he was changing clothes. I don't know what he's up to in there."
"Muddear, Little Mike lives here. That is his room. He does not have to ask to shut his bedroom door."
"Yes, he does. I don't know - he might have girls in there."
"Muddear, Mike is a kid. He is not allowed to have girls in the house or in his room."
"I don't know what's on his mind. He should have told me and you need to stop jumping down my back about it."
"Muddear, I am not fussing at you. But you need to leave Little Mike alone so he can finish changing his clothes. He just got out of the shower."

There was no convincing Muddear, so I made an excuse to go back downstairs. Hence, the right now blogging of this incident.

WOW! Little Mike just left to go to a friends and Muddear is still yelling at him. Imagine that...

Buying Oil

For about the last 24 hours Muddear has been going on AND on about oil she purchased. There were two events that precipitated these ramblings...

1. The weather changed. Muddear being cold-natured has become increasingly cold as the temperature has dropped. She has requested that we turn on the heat - but with the house close to 70 degrees it is entirely too warm to turn on the furnace.

2. I used the electric space heater to warm Muddear's room in preparation for her wash-up.

After this Muddear has been obsessed with using the oil to relight the gas heater that she believes is now in her room. Even though we have explained thoroughly on multiple occasions that the heater is an electric space heater, Muddear continues to ask question after question about the oil she purchased several days ago. One in particular, she wants to know how she is supposed to use the oil to light the heater.

Last night's conversation ended with Muddear telling Mike she would pay him to light the heater and give her instructions on how to use the oil. After explaining the heater once again, Muddea ended the conversation with a request to take her back to the store to return the oil... if we didn't think she would need it.

All In A Day's Work

Muddear now thinks that our home is really the home of one of her previous employers. At Muddear's age (96) it was common for her and other women within this age bracket to have worked in the homes of other well-to-do families. Typically the work consisted of cooking, cleaning, caring for children, etc.

For the past week, when I arrived home from work, Muddear has been sitting patiently in her wheelchair at the top of the stairs waiting for her ride home. Oddly, whenever she sees me, she thinks I am the source of transportation. Unfortunately, the rest of the evening is filled with Muddear following or attempting to follow me around the house inquiring about when we are leaving. I have tried to explain on numerous occasions:

• Our relationship - grandmother/granddaughter;
• That she is retired;
• This is our home and we live together.

Nothing works. No matter what explanation I give, Muddear refuses to believe it and we continue to have the same conversation over and over and over again. I understand that this type of behavior is common among Dementia and Alzheimer's patients, however, it becomes frustrating for me after awhile. Nighttime is even worse. Muddear's agitation increases - it is obvious that she has no clue where she is or why she is here. Ultimately, she wants to go home.

Several days ago, Muddear began accusing me of lying about my identity. All hell broke loose when she saw me enter my bedroom. Muddear rolled into my bedroom to tell me that I was going to get myself in trouble for being in there.

"You gettin too big for your britches talkin about you own this and you own that! Girl you gon get yourself in trouble!"

Obviously, I was confused, but after talking to Muddear, I realized the true source of her angst. Muddear now thinks I am having an affair with the husband of the lady whose house she is responsible for cleaning! I was never able to convince her otherwise.

Running Errands

Yesterday, Mike and I bundled up Muddear and ran a gazillion errands! We left the house around 1:15 in the afternoon and did not return until 9:30 that night.

Muddear was great! She ate cookies offered by the managers at the furniture store. She ate Gold Star Chili while I made numerous returns and exchanges at the mall. And accidentally locked us out of the car when Mike and I quickly ran into HH Greg to purchase a television. We were tickled that Muddear momentarily forgot what button to push to let us back into the car.

Overall Muddear had a really good time. It was wonderful to get out of the house WITH my darling husband than without him. We often spend little time together outside of the house, because one of us must stay at home with Muddear so the other can run errands. It was great once again to find pleasure in the mundane.

As the evening wore on, I could tell that Muddear was getting tired as we all were. During our last stop - HH Greg - Muddear mentioned that the bathroom was calling her name. She reasurred us that a special stop at a restaurant would not be necessary as long as we were heading straight home after this stop. Within 10 minutes after this conversation, we were pulling into the familiar spot in our driveway.

Muddear, looking quite alarmed, stated "I thought we were going home! I don't live here - I moved a couple of months ago!"

Go figure!

One Week And Counting

Today we hit the one week mark. Muddear is still exhibiting symptoms of confusion. Please understand, it not my intent to laugh at her, I just find the situation comical. Unfortunately, I really don't think that I can relay my conversation with Muddear with quite the same level of hilarity with which I found it last night.

Nevertheless, Muddear and I had the oddest conversation last night. When asking her about her day, she explained that she had a visitor. Initially, I thought she was talking about Sharon, the aide until I realized that she was in fact NOT talking about the aide. According to Muddear, she was visited by the lady she used to work for. (huh?) When I inquired about this lady, Muddear said...

"I can't remember her name, but I used to work for her before I got sick. After I got better, I started working for her again."

What could I say other than..."Okay."

Off Kilter!

Muddear is still not quite right...

This evening Muddear went around and round the mulberry bush arguing with Mike about how it was time for her to move so that she could be closer to her sons. This time it was Mike's turn to have that discussion. I am officially done for the next two days.

Needless to say, when asked "who will you stay with when you leave" - as she was demanding to leave at that exact moment, Muddear could not give a coherent answer. According to Muddear, Walter lived in a different state and Phil was not her son. Even better Phil was her daughter's son or Muddear's grandson. Mike tried to clear up the confusion by going down the family tree, to wit Muddear became irate and argumentative. "I KNOW WHO MY CHILDREN ARE! DON'T YOU TELL ME!"

Mike decided to drop the subject. That is until Muddear began calling him every 10 minutes to have the discussion yet again. This time, both Phil and Walter were her sons, but she had no clue as to who her other children had been. (I say that in past tense because they predeceased Muddear.)

As if this weren't enough, Granny started seeing things that didn't exist! According to Muddear, my two children (step) were unhappy when they entered her room and wanted to see their mother. Problem...neither were at home at the time. When I explained this to Muddear, she initially argued with me, then casually said..."I must have been hallucinating!"

Little White Lies

Last night Muddear thought...well I am not quite sure what she thought. After dinner, when I went to spend time with Muddear she wanted to talk to me. She wanted to know why I fed her dinner last after everyone else had eaten.

I quickly explained that she ate dinner at the same time. That when dinner was ready I made everyone's plate, including her plate, and served dinner to everyone. I went on to explain that in actuality, she had her food and had begun eating before I did.

"No that's not true," Muddear said. "I went down stairs and I saw you and the family eating before you gave me my food. Why is that?"

"Muddear, that is not true. You are in a wheelchair and cannot go up and down the stairs by yourself."

"Yes, I can. I just hold on to the bannister."

"Not by yourself without assistance."

"Yes, I can. I don't need your help. I just hold onto the bannister."

"Well, if that is the case, I would like for you to show me right now. If I am comfortable with you traveling up and down the stairs by yourself, then you can come downstairs and eat with us all of the time."

"Well, I didn't go all the way down. Just part of the way."

"That's okay. This is very exciting! You have never been able to go down the stairs without our help. I would really like to see you do it again."

"No, what I said was I can come downstairs with help. I'm in a wheelchair."

"Okay. Then you really didn't see us at the table eating dinner did you?"

"No, I just thought you were and that is different than normal."

Day or Night

Muddear experienced significant confusion yesterday (Monday). I seriously question whether she was able to distinguish day from night.

When I arrived home from work Sharon explained that earlier in the day Muddear complained of being tired and wanted to take a nap, which she allowed. However after her nap, Muddear did not remember eating lunch - I think it is possible that upon waking up from the nap Muddear thought it was morning. Therefore, I was not surprised when Muddear began calling me, immediately after I entered the house, expressing the need to talk.

Per Muddear, Sharon did not feed her lunch. "Of course she did." I stated, only to have Muddear ask, "Well if she fed me lunch, why am I hungry?" To wit, I responded, "You are hungry because it is dinnertime. You ate lunch five (5) hours ago, if I were you I would be hungry too." Muddear seemed satisfied with that answer.

At 7:00 p.m. Muddear and I sat down to eat dinner. I am sure you can imagine my confusion when she asked, "Aren't you scared?"

"No, why would I be scared?"
"You know from the bad weather that's made it so dark outside."
"Muddear, there is no bad weather. It's dark outside because this is November and it's after 7:00 p.m."
"No, it's too early to be this dark."
"Don't worry, there is no bad weather. It is supposed to be this dark when it is almost winter."
"Okay."

Whether Muddear believed me or not, I will never know. I tend to think not. Especially when one hour later I overheard Muddear say to Mike..."Boy its dark outside." I chuckled as Mike once again explained that it is dark outside because it's nighttime.

All evening and well into the night, Muddear continued to comment about how "early" it is. Finally, around 11:00 p.m. I made her go to bed.

Hopefully, today Muddear will have it all sorted out.

Homecoming

My brother Tommy is officially home from the military. Tonight he came over to visit with his new girlfriend. I was so happy to see him. My baby brother is finally home from the marines. God is good!

Anyway, whenever Tommy comes home he always makes sure that he visits with Muddear. As always she initially doesn't recognize him, but that is rectified after a few minutes of conversation.

"Hey Muddear! How are you doing?"
"I'm fine."
"How old are you now?"
"I'm about 95. Just trying to make it to 100. So many have tried...and so many have failed!"

My brother was simply tickled by their conversation. You just never know what will come out of Muddear's mouth.

I don't NEVER!

If I told you this weekend has been a doozy (spelling?) I don't think you would believe me. Honestly nothing "special" has happened, but poor Muddear has been thoroughly confused the entire weekend.

Friday night, Muddear became angry about the amount of time required to take her breathing treatment. She declared that she was NEVER taking that treatment again! I know this is not unusual...same story different day, but it was just the beginning.

Saturday during the day, Muddear managed to drop part of her housecoat into the bedside commode. Did I mention it was full of urine? In the very eloquent words of Charlie Brown, "Aarrgghh!"

Saturday night, as usual I dispensed Muddear's 8:00 p.m. medications. Afterwards, Muddear asked if I was going to sit with her for awhile, to wit I said, "yes, at least until after I give you your 9:00 p.m. medications." Suddenly, she became suspicious of the medication. You'd think I was trying to kill her! Apparently, in Muddear's world, she does not and has never taken two doses of medication at night. So after Saturday night...Muddear declared that she was NEVER going to take two doses of medication in one night. Just getting her to take the 9:00 p.m. medications required arguing.

Sunday morning began with a bang! First, I think the daylight savings time change threw off Muddear's internal clock. She was up extra early calling me. I made breakfast as usual so that she could take her morning medication without getting sick. Well that began the first argument of the day.

"If you had of asked me first you would have known that I don't eat breakfast!"

Of course I explained that the food was to ensure that the medication did not make her stomach sick. To wit Muddear said...

"My medication don't ever make me sick. Don't ever make me breakfast again in the morning! I NEVER eat breakfast!"

The calling continued all morning. At one point Muddear called me to help her use the bathroom.

"Muddear, why are you call me to help you use the bathroom? You don't need help going to the bathroom."
"I know, I just wanted you to come in my room."
"I will later, but right now I am lying down."

Interestingly enough, about 45 minutes later, Muddear was in the hallway and began to call me again saying she needed help going to her room. Yes, I wheel her into the room, but ask...

"Muddear, why are you calling me to push you into your room?"
"I need to go to the bathroom, but I don't know where it is."
"Yes, you do. You go to the bathroom everyday by yourself. You were right next to the bathroom."
"No, I don't. I ain't NEVER gone to the bathroom by myself. That's why I don't know where it is!"

If you think that it couldn't get worse, think again. When giving Muddear her wash up, she doesn't want to remove her t-shirt.

"Muddear, how am I supposed to wash you up if I can't remove your t-shirt?"
"I don't want' to be naked, I might catch cold."
"Muddear, I have to remove your t-shirt to finish your wash up."
"No you don't. I don't NEVER take all my clothes off when its cold!"

Well, its only 5:30 p.m. Sunday evening. Can this really continue ALL day?

Pain Medicine vs. Placebo

Muddear asks for pain medicine, multiple times throughout the day every day. It is so often that I have begun to wonder if she is really in pain or if there is an ulterior motive. Taking Tylenol, aspirin, or any other non-prescription medicine two to three times per day everyday seems excessive. Not to mention the fact that each episode begins with Muddear screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs:

"...the pain is more than I can bear!" or

"...take me now Lord, if someone can't do something to help me with the pain!" or

"....please somebody help me, don't let me suffer."

However, as soon as Muddear S-W-A-L-L-O-W-S the Tylenol, she is completely healed. No complaints, no worries, no more pain. There is no pain medicine, especially in pill form that works that fast!

In light of this, Mike and I have been trying an experiment over the last week. I bought of bottle of vitamin C caplets. For the last week, whenever Muddear asks for pain medicine, we continue the same routine by asking, "What hurts and how long has it been hurting?" After Muddear's explanation, we retrieve two vitamin C caplets and dispense the "Tylenol" to Muddear. Would believe it if I told you, it works! We have witnessed the placebo effect firsthand - A placebo effect occurs when a treatment or medication with no therapeutic value (a placebo) is administered to a person and their symptoms improve.

It is truly amazing!

Talking Crazy On Purpose?

Prior to dinner, I gave Muddear a breathing treatment and was forced to endure the usual drama. This time, however, after being told for the one hundredth time that she was not going to take another breathing treatment, I agreed. I told Muddear I was tired of arguing with her about taking a breathing treatment and the next time she was short of breath I would not administer the medicine. To which Muddear responded..."I never get short of breath so you don't have to worry about that!"

Last night, in the middle of the night Muddear started yelling for help. What is it with the night time drama? As soon as I enter Muddear's room, I can tell that she is short of breath, but to prove a point, I ask her...

"Muddear, what's wrong?"

"Shortness of the breath."

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Give me something to help me breathe."

"I can't give you a breathing treatment. You told me earlier today that you are not taking breathing treatments anymore, because you don't experience shortness of breath. What should I do?"

"I didn't mean that. You know how it is, you get aggravated and you just say things that you shouldn't say. I bet you do the same thing too."

I started thinking...how often does she get aggravated and start talking crazy on purpose? Of course I gave Muddear the treatment - with no arguing!

Prescriptions, Doctors, and Friends

Everyone knows the routine...three times per day Muddear is given a breathing treatment. Three times a day we argue with her about the importance of completing the treatment in its entirety. Last night, Muddear stated:

"After tonight, I am not takin' that treatment anymore."

"Muddear, why don't you want to take your medicine?"

"The doctor didn't give that to me, a friend did."

"Your friend cannot write you prescriptions."

"I know, that's not a prescription. A friend told me about it. I told the doctor and he give it to me. I don't really need it."

"Muddear the doctor will only prescribe medicine for you that you actually need. After your check-up a few years ago, it was prescribed to you. I will get the container so you can see it."

I take a few minutes to get the box that contains the vials of medicine used for breathing treatments.

"See Muddear, here is the label...it has a prescription number on it, your name and the doctor's name."

"I don't care what you say! A friend gave that to me!"

"Why don't you read it for yourself?"

"NO! I am not gonna read it! I don't wanna see it! I know where it came from - it was a doctor and he is dead now!"

Okay, I give up! I had to end this conversation before I ran away screaming!

Go Get Her...

I was downstairs blogging and Muddear was in her room. After hearing Muddear calling me, I grabbed my laptop and went to check on her. As usual, MacIntosh was hot on my heels.

When I walked into Muddear's room, MacIntosh ran to sit in our favorite spot. Muddear looked at me and said, "Did you hear me calling you?"

"Yep, that's why I came upstairs."

"I told him to get you and he did."

"Who?"

"The dog.""

"Muddear, MacIntosh was downstairs eating." (Why do I try to have these logical conversations? Muddear is going to believe whatever Muddear wants to believe.)

"Maybe he was, but he came upstairs first. I told him to go get you and he did."