Hunger Strikes

Grandma is back to her old tricks... For about a month now, I have noticed that Muddear has been extra finicky about eating. Breakfast is quite a small meal - nothing unusual. Lunch has become her largest meal of the day with a small snack between lunch a dinner. But dinner? Well that's a crap shoot. Many days Muddear simply refuses to eat dinner. Some days she sucks her meal down as though she is starving. However, last week, the aid discovered Muddear's little treasure chest of discarded dinners! Under the futon mattress Muddear hid at least five dinners. Obviously not the entire meal - it's always the meat portion. A piece of chicken, a hamburger, half of a pork chop... each meticulously wrapped up in a wad of Kleenex! She then pushes around on her plate the vegetables and whatever else we fixed for dinner as though she has eaten something. We've been duped again!

What is a caregiver to do?

Sore Gums

We all know that Muddear doesn't have any teeth, nor does she have dentures. This has never posed a problem with Muddear's eating habits. She eats fried chicken, potato chips, crackers, cookies and everything crunchy in between. However, every now and then, Muddear will refuse to eat a meal (or several meals) because her gums are sore. For the most part, I try to be very understanding of this, until I feel like Muddear is pulling my leg.

For example, on Saturday I made Cream of Wheat for breakfast. For anyone who has never enjoyed a steaming bowl of Cream of Wheat... it  is very soft and creamy. You can eat an entire bowl of Cream of Wheat without taking a single bite. Simply open your mouth and swallow. Thus, I am sure you can imagine my surprise when Muddear told me she could not eat her breakfast (Cream of Wheat) because her gums were sore.  I began to wonder, how many times has Muddear refused to eat by using the "sore gums" excuse? I was completely tickled to realize... Muddear's been pulling my leg!

Who Ate My Food?

Last night, shortly after dinner, Muddear began calling me. (Mike and I were sitting downstairs, talking and watching television.) As I proceeded upstairs, I saw Muddear in the hallway at the top of the stairs.

"Is everything alright?", I enquired.
"I want something to eat."
"Really? Did you eat all of your dinner?"
"Yes."

I went into Muddear's room to remove her original dinner plate. It was my intention to give Muddear more food considering she was still hungry. That is until I observed that Muddear had only eaten about 1/4 of her dinner.

"Muddear, you are probably still hungry because you did not eat all of your food. Why didn't you eat your dinner?"
"I didn't eat it someone else did! Why would I eat a plate of food that was eaten off of by someone else?"
"Muddear, no one ate your food but you. No one is upstairs but you."
"Don't you think I know what I ate or didn't eat!"

So, what do you think I did? I took the original plate - removed the food and placed it on a new plate (different color), then gave it back to Muddear. Thank goodness, she didn't know the difference and gobbled up everything!

I wonder who she thinks ate her food?

Easter Sunday

What a great day of celebration - to acknowledge the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

We decided as a family to go out to dinner. Additionally, the kids had to research a scripture about Easter aka Resurrection Sunday to discuss over dinner. We all had a GREAT time - even Muddear. I assume that Muddear's daily confinement to the house is what makes our monthly excursions so enjoyable. This month we had three if you include our Easter dinner at Cracker Barrel.

Cracker Barrel is not a restaurant where we dine often. However, its "triple threat quality" makes Cracker Barrel a success every time.

1. A wide selection of home cooked meals;
2. Large portions; and
3. Economically priced.

Who could ask for more? Oh yeah - the kids love it and Muddear does too after this first dining experience. I was amazed by the amount of food she ate - which further confirms my theory that Muddear hates my cooking! It's okay, as Muddear says..."not everybody loves everything."

Muddear had dinner, dessert, and hot chocolate! I could not have asked for a better day -not to mention the brief reprieve from Muddear's Dementia induced insanity!

Eating Habits

I spoke with the supervising nurse last night. She agrees with my preliminary assessment of the situation...Muddear doesn't eat; Muddear takes medicine; Muddear becomes nauseated from taking medication on an empty stomach.

So where do we go next? The nurse recommended two possible solutions to increase Muddear's food intake:

• Eat smaller but more frequent meals.
• Increase servings of Ensure or Boost, whichever she is taking.

This will be the new routine for the next few weeks. If my scenario is truly the self-induced vomiting trigger then we have resolved that issue...for now. However, the remaining outstanding issue still revolves around why Muddear refuses to eat. Especially since the reasons given for not eating make no sense.

Just a few of my favorite excuses...

1. "I'm full!" (But she hasn't eaten anything.)
2. "I don't like this kind of food. It doesn't taste good - to me." (Said about leftovers just eaten the night before.)
3. "I don't have a taste for that."

Anyway, I'll keep you posted.

Lost and Found

Last night's hidden treasure:

Found...half a Sloppy Joe sandwich from Friday's lunch!

Perhaps I should take my jest seriously - we are going to have to monitor mealtime activities.

I have noticed that Muddear has lost a little weight recently. Initially, I wasn't sure why...now I am pretty sure of the reason. Muddear is being sneaky and hiding food - we have been finding it all week.

I am almost certain there is more waiting to be found. Wish us luck as we search!

Hidden Treasure...Or Not!

Recent developments reveal that Muddear is back to her old tricks! When emptying Muddear's laundry basket, what would you guess Sharon found hidden behind it?

1. Lost money? - Good guess, but no.
2. Old forgotten pictures? - Highly possible, but not quite.
3. A missing sock? - You are getting warmer, but that's not it.

Okay if you must know, I must tell you...

Muddear took one of her socks and filled it with part of Monday's dinner and hid it behind the laundry basket! The hidden treasure...chicken nuggets!!!!

My first thought, was why? But my second thought was - how did Muddear get BEHIND the laundry basket. Mysterious...

If this were a one time occasion, I wouldn't be as concerned. Unfortunately, Sharon found part of Tuesday's dinner in another sock hidden in Muddear's nightstand drawer.

I'm officially on dinner watch - maybe we could all take turns. I could create a dinner watch schedule and assign each family member to a night! I'm obviously delirious so I'm signing off until Muddear's next adventure.

Little White Lies

Last night Muddear thought...well I am not quite sure what she thought. After dinner, when I went to spend time with Muddear she wanted to talk to me. She wanted to know why I fed her dinner last after everyone else had eaten.

I quickly explained that she ate dinner at the same time. That when dinner was ready I made everyone's plate, including her plate, and served dinner to everyone. I went on to explain that in actuality, she had her food and had begun eating before I did.

"No that's not true," Muddear said. "I went down stairs and I saw you and the family eating before you gave me my food. Why is that?"

"Muddear, that is not true. You are in a wheelchair and cannot go up and down the stairs by yourself."

"Yes, I can. I just hold on to the bannister."

"Not by yourself without assistance."

"Yes, I can. I don't need your help. I just hold onto the bannister."

"Well, if that is the case, I would like for you to show me right now. If I am comfortable with you traveling up and down the stairs by yourself, then you can come downstairs and eat with us all of the time."

"Well, I didn't go all the way down. Just part of the way."

"That's okay. This is very exciting! You have never been able to go down the stairs without our help. I would really like to see you do it again."

"No, what I said was I can come downstairs with help. I'm in a wheelchair."

"Okay. Then you really didn't see us at the table eating dinner did you?"

"No, I just thought you were and that is different than normal."

That's It!

Saturday night, I told Muddear that on Sunday we were going out to lunch and then to visit Philip, her oldest son. As I have explained previously, Philip has been in a nursing home for over 25 years, initially due to a stroke that left him unable to care for himself.

I woke Muddear up a little earlier than normal, a fact she was not happy about, until I reminded her that we were going to see Phil. She became really excited and cooperative. By 12:30, we both had eaten breakfast, bathed, dressed, hair styled, and for Muddear medicated. My friend Julia was going to join us today - she has graciously been a granny-sitter for us in times of desperate need.

At about 1:00 p.m. the three of us were packed into the car and on the way to TGI Fridays, Muddear really enjoys their baby back ribs. I continue to marvel at the impacts of Dementia on the brains ability to function properly. Thankfully, I have a relatively good idea about what Muddear likes to eat, because it was very difficult for her to make the decision without assistance. I couldn't help but laugh when our food arrived. Muddear was overwhelmed by the food portions she simply stopped and stared. I then asked her to bless the food as we bowed our heads.

"Gracious Lord, we thank you for this food we are about to eat...."

Muddear said a few additional words that I could barely hear because she prayed at almost a whisper. I don't think I have ever heard Muddear whisper. Then as our heads are still bowed, Muddear suddenly says...

"Okay, that's it!"

I didn't hear an "Amen" or anything! I just chuckled to myself and started to eat.

Unpleasant Surprises...

I have been holding onto this post for weeks now, because I did not think anyone would believe me unless I had the pictures to prove it!

Incident #1

Prior to going on vacation in May, I had to pack Muddear a suitcase to take with her to Brookwood Retirement Community for the respite stay. After gathering together Muddear's clothes, I opened one of her drawers to pull out several pairs of socks. Can you imagine my surprise when I wrapped my hand around a hard sock? Initially I thought, "What in the world is this?" Carefully, I began to unroll the sock ball (I fold all socks into a sock ball after removing them from the dryer) and became immediately disgusted. At some point in the recent past, Muddear pretended to eat dinner by stuffing her food into a pair of socks then hiding them in the drawer. Fortunately, this surprise bundle of sock and food did not stink. Unfortunately, it was molding. Check out the pictures...

Incident #2

One night last month during dinner, I went to check on Muddear to see if she needed anything. Muddear prefers to eat in her room - sometimes we join her and sometimes we do not, it just depends on what is going on that evening. Anyway, I initially notice that Muddear's dinner plate is surprisingly clean. However, the second thing I notice is that she has a pair of socks in her hand. After Incident #1 above, I immediately knew what was going on.

"Muddear let me see what you have in your hands."
"No."
"Muddear, why won't you give me that sock? I really need to see it."
"No, it's mine!"
"Muddear, what are you doing? You never keep anything from me." I reach for the sock and Muddear finally relinquishes her hold. Guess what I found inside of the sock?
"Muddear why have you stuffed your chicken and vegetables inside this sock?"
"I was saving it for dinner for tomorrow."
"Now you know that is not how you save food."
"I do!"
"Muddear, no you do not. Please don't ever do that again. It is not safe or sanitary."
"That's what I do. I always do that."
"Muddear, don't ever do that again."
"Okay."

Sandwich Trouble

Yesterday, Mariah and I went to Paramount's Kings Island and Mike was nominated the granny-sitter for the day. I always appreciate it when Mike takes on this responsibility for any extended period of time, because usually Muddear gives him hell! This morning I asked Mike to recount the most memorable happening of the day, while he and little Mike were here with Muddear. So I share with you, Mike's story:

After you left for Kings Island, I made lunch for Muddear - a ham sandwich and potato chips, with lemonade to drink. I setup the dinner tray and placed everything upon it, so Muddear could eat. Immediately she says...

"Mike, why did you give me so much food?"
"You said you were hungry and I made you a sandwich."
"Well I don't want a whole sandwich."
"Why don't you eat what you can and I will come back to get the rest later."
"Okay."

Nikki, I was hungry and wanted to eat my own sandwich. I was downstairs less than five minutes when Muddear started calling me...

"Mike?"
"Yes, Muddear?"
"Why did you give me so much food?"
"It's just a sandwich and some chips, Muddear. That's not a lot of food."
"Well, I don't want a whole sandwich."
"Okay, I'll get a knife and cut it in half."

Upon returning with the knife...

"Here you go Muddear, I have cut the sandwich in half."
"I don't want that."
"What do you mean? You just asked me to cut the sandwich in half."
"I don't want the half you gave me. I want the other half, it looks better."
"Okay Muddear."

I went downstairs to finish eating my lunch with Mike. About 10 or 15 minutes later, Muddear started calling me again.

"What do you need Muddear?"
"I'm hungry, can I have something else to eat?"
"What do you want to eat?"
"A sandwich."
"Why did you make me cut your sandwich in half and take it downstairs?"
"Well, it shouldn't be a big deal to get the other half."

At this point, I am frustrated, because I have not been able to finish my own lunch. To make matters worse, Mike thinks the entire situation is funny so he is in the background cracking up laughing! I quickly made Muddear another half sandwich, because Mike ate the extra half of the first sandwich, and took it to Muddear. About 15 minutes later...

"Mike?"
"Yes, Muddear?"
"I'm hungry, can I have something else to eat?"
"What do want to eat Muddear?"
"I don't know, something to sweet."

I gave her a yogurt parfait that was purchased earlier from McDonald's. Muddear ate the entire thing and THANK GOD she was finally full.

Mother's Day - 2007

Yesterday, for Mother's Day, Mike and I made plans to take both our mothers and Muddear out to dinner at a restaurant called Hoggys. We had 3:00 p.m. reservations and planned to leave the house by 2:00 p.m. So, at 9:00 a.m., I went into Muddear's room to wake her up for breakfast and medicine. She seemed to be in good spirits, which was great, because today, Muddear was not going to be able to sleep until Noon!

Mike wished Muddear a Happy Mother's Day and broke the news that we were going out to dinner. This was a pretty big deal - Muddear normally does not like to leave the house. It was now my turn to take over - getting Muddear ready to leave became an event!

We selected an outfit to wear to dinner and her favorite wig. Having the ability to make choices is very important, so I always consult Muddear on clothing selections. The stars must have been in alignment, this is not always an easy feat to accomplish. Muddear at times gets worked up about the colors of her clothes, the length of her dresses, to wear a slip or not to wear a slip, etc. etc. etc.

After getting a thorough wash-up, it was time to apply medication to the skin infection on her legs, mouth/gum care, dressing, and hairstyling. Because Muddear's hair is not chemically relaxed, she likes me to straighten it. I used to pull out the electric hot comb, but that takes entirely too much work when the only thing Muddear is going to do is cover her head with either a bonnet or wig. Therefore, after oiling her scalp, I now pull out the flat iron and in about 10 to 15 minutes, quickly and easily straighten Muddear's hair and style it in plaits, braids or cornrows. Today's choice was plaits and within an hour and a half, Muddear was ready to go.

At the restaurant Muddear was so cute. She was so excited to be out with everyone and constantly giggled like a schoolgirl. Making dinner selections becomes quite confusing and overwhelming for Muddear, so I usually break the menu down into three items...chicken, ribs, steak. "Choose the cheapest thing", she says. After reassuring Muddear that she can have anything on the menu, she chooses the ribs. I am not surprised; we typically do not make ribs at home, so they are a real treat for Muddear. Now on to the side items, which I narrow down to the things I know she likes...greens, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, or spinach. The winner...macaroni and cheese and sweet potatoes.

Muddear was so cute, as appetizers were ordered and passed around, she wanted to try everything. She was having so much fun - trying a little of this and a little bit of that! Which is why I was so surprised when she had an anxiety attack! The waiter cheerfully brought out Muddear's food and she became overwhelmed by the portions. "I can't eat all of this", she says while gasping for breath. "What am I supposed to do with all of this food?"

I should not laugh, but it struck me as funny. Who has anxiety attacks because there is too much food on their plate? No one but Muddear! After hooking her up to the portable oxygen tank, and reassuring Muddear that she can take home anything she does not eat, things went back to normal. The only thing that did not make it a perfect day...I forgot my camera! I love to see Flossie in her wig!

Food For Thought

A couple of nights ago, I made what I thought was a delicious pasta dish...thin spaghetti cooked with red pepper olive oil, succulent shrimp, and broccoli tossed with Parmesan cheese and a light Alfredo sauce - just enough to make the pasta moist but not enough taste like fettuccine.

Everyone loved dinner but Muddear. As a matter of fact, Muddear was pissed! Not only would she not eat dinner, she wouldn't even taste it!

"Nikki, what is this that you brought me?"
"It is a pasta dish."
"Well, I don't eat my food all mixed together."
"Muddear, it is supposed to be mixed together."
"Not, when I eat it. Just because I am old don't mean you can give me just anything to eat!"
"Muddear, this is what everyone ate for dinner."
"I don't care what everybody ate. I don't eat like this! How am I supposed to know what anything tastes like with it all mixed up?"

Arguing with Muddear really is action of futility, therefore after a few minutes into the discussion I stated that I was not going to argue over dinner. Muddear agreed and requested I remove her plate.

I will never understand the things that set Muddear off or why. Especially when her anger is directed at something nice I have done for her. I question if it is a generational gap, differences in how we were raised, or just Dementia. What ever the reason, I wish there was a way to bridge the gap.

Food for thought...

Not As Easy As You Might Think...

Wednesday night, I received a phone call from Dr. Pushpah Shah. (Say that three times fast!) The call was to discuss the results of the blood tests from the sample taken during last week's appointment. Typically, Dr. Shah takes a blood sample every six months to verify that the many prescriptions my grandmother takes are not causing any adverse effects on her internal organs. There were two areas of concern, Muddear's vitamin D and vitamin B levels were too low.

Recommendations:

1. Dr. Shah recommended purchasing an over the counter Calcium pill with vitamin D.
2. The Doctor was unsure about the vitamin B deficiency; however, a poor diet may be the cause. She suggested Ensure, Boost, or other dietary supplement.

So, last night I had what I perceived to be a brilliant idea. I decided to ask Muddear about her favorite meals and incorporate at least one of her favorites into my weekly meal-planning schedule. I probably should have thought of this before now, but what can I say? This should be an easy task, or so I thought.

"Muddear, I need you to tell me something. What are your favorite things to eat?"
"Well, when I used to cook for my family, I always cooked what everyone liked."
"That's good. So tell me what did you like?"
"I liked a lot of different things."
"Name one for me."
"I don't know if my favorite was collard greens, or steak, or roast. I don't know."
"Muddear, can you pick a few you really like?" (I did not trust the answer, because Muddear normally will not eat collard greens. She says they cause her to have asthma attacks. Nevertheless, I press on.) I am sure you have at least a few favorite foods."
"Oh I don't know"
"That's okay, you can think about it."
"Are you happy with my answer? Did I answer you okay?"
"Muddear, you answered just fine. Thank you."