Through Someone Else's Eyes

I was so intrigued by a comment posted by a reader to "Off Kilter!" posted on Thursday, January 3, 2008 that I had to talk more about it.

Glorious Hats said...

"Do you wonder sometimes if the retreat into confusion is a response to difficult, unbearable thoughts? How painful to lose a child - even one that is 60 or 70 years old. Unfortunately, the protection result - if that is indeed what it is- is also painful and frustrating."


I never pondered that perhaps Muddear's reaction is a psychological defense mechanism. After a quick search in Wikipedia, I found that in Freudian psychoanalytic theory, defence mechanisms are psychological strategies brought into play by individuals, groups and even nations to cope with reality and to maintain self-image. The purpose of the Defence Mechanisms is to protect the mind/self/ego from anxiety, social sanctions or to provide a refuge from a situation with which one cannot currently cope.


According to this theory, there are 4 categories of defence mechanisms. I only plan to elaborate on Category One, as it seems most relevant, because it includes:

Denial: Refusal to accept external reality because it is too threatening; arguing against an anxiety provoking stimuli by stating it doesn't exist; resolution of emotional conflict and reduce anxiety by refusing to perceive or consciously acknowledge the more unpleasant aspects of external reality.
Distortion: A gross reshaping of external reality to meet internal needs.
Delusional Projection: Grossly frank delusions about external reality, usually of a persecutory nature.

Now that I have had my psychology lesson for the day, I will try to be more patient with Muddear during these times of confusion. In addition, I will look for signs of triggers that may be responsible for sending Muddear spiraling into confusion in an effort to thwart them in their tracks. I know I cannot protect her from everything, but I can attempt to shield Muddear from many things.

Sometimes we need to step outside of ourselves to see more clearly. Thanks Jane!