Tips For Caregiver's

People with Alzheimer's disease frequently become more disoriented after dark or when waking. Leaving a night-light on in the bedroom may be helpful.


Sunday, March 30, 2008

All In A Day's Work

Muddear now thinks that our home is really the home of one of her previous employers. At Muddear's age (96) it was common for her and other women within this age bracket to have worked in the homes of other well-to-do families. Typically the work consisted of cooking, cleaning, caring for children, etc.

For the past week, when I arrived home from work, Muddear has been sitting patiently in her wheelchair at the top of the stairs waiting for her ride home. Oddly, whenever she sees me, she thinks I am the source of transportation. Unfortunately, the rest of the evening is filled with Muddear following or attempting to follow me around the house inquiring about when we are leaving. I have tried to explain on numerous occasions:
  • Our relationship - grandmother/granddaughter;
  • That she is retired;
  • This is our home and we live together.

Nothing works. No matter what explanation I give, Muddear refuses to believe it and we continue to have the same conversation over and over and over again. I understand that this type of behavior is common among Dementia and Alzheimer's patients, however, it becomes frustrating for me after awhile. Nighttime is even worse. Muddear's agitation increases - it is obvious that she has no clue where she is or why she is here. Ultimately, she wants to go home.

Several days ago, Muddear began accusing me of lying about my identity. All hell broke loose when she saw me enter my bedroom. Muddear rolled into my bedroom to tell me that I was going to get myself in trouble for being in there.

"You gettin too big for your britches talkin about you own this and you own that! Girl you gon get yourself in trouble!"

Obviously, I was confused, but after talking to Muddear, I realized the true source of her angst. Muddear now thinks I am having an affair with the husband of the lady whose house she is responsible for cleaning! I was never able to convince her otherwise.


XUE said...

Hi Nikki! I commented in the Forum thread but should hv done it here, You are a good person, to care for your grandmother. I am so impressed that you hv 4 blogs, Etsy, creat things, mother/wife & caregiver!

njm said...


As a caregiver, I tend to be homebound most of the time unless I am at work. Blogging and Etsy are my cure for cabin fever! :-) Thanks so much for your kind words.

Hope you visit again soon.

Betty said...

Hi, I love your blog! I'm a sahm of six and i take care of my 82 yo mom you has Alzheimers here in our home. Your faith and good will really inspire me to greater patience with Mom. Mom was recently in the hospital with a UTI that turned nasty. On Easter Sunday evening I went to visit her with dessert along with my oldest son, Vince and my mother-in-law. She introduced us to the nurse as, "This is my daughter, this is my aunt (pointing to mil), and this (pointing to my son) is my other aunt."!! My son immediately spoke up, "Uh, grandson, here!"

She always remembers our dog, Lucy, though. I think Lucy my be the last family member she knows!

njm said...


What a great story, although your son probably doesn't think so. :-) He may not laugh now, but he will soon.

I know it can be difficult to dig into that well of patience after you take care of everyone and then you have mom driving you nutz! You are only human and as long as you are doing the best that you can, it will be enough.

Sometimes it is hard - that's when I know I need a Calgon moment. I may sit in my bathroom if I have to just to regain a sense of peace so I can deal with grandma with love and respect.

Be encouraged, you will be blessed! Oh yeah, have you ever utilized respite services for your mom?